I always thought this statement meant that I should treat others well and be nice to them no matter what.  But that isn’t really how I would want to be treated is it?  If I have something hanging from my nose I would want someone to tell me.  If I say something that is wrong, I’d want someone to call me out on it and correct me.  Otherwise I’m going to walk around looking silly and sounding stupid.

So I started thinking about this statement a lot and specifically about how I wanted people to treat me at work.  First, I broke it into two simple categories, what do I want and what do I not want.

I want:

• To be told when I’m wrong
• To have my ideas respected
• To be told when my dress/hygiene is not suitable for the environment I work in.
• To be greeted warmly

I don’t want:

• To be embarrassed or publicly ridiculed.
• To be ignored.

I then took this a step further and combined the two lists into a set of rules for how I want to be interacted with specifically.

• If I’m wrong and it is not critically important, then tell me privately when it becomes possible to do so.  If however I’m wrong and it is critically important, then tell me right away even though others are present.
• Give me an opportunity to be heard, listen to my ideas, and consider them with an open mind before responding.
• If I’m dressed inappropriately somehow or I smell bad, pull me aside and tell me.
• When you see me in the office, say hello.  If there is time and we haven’t spoken recently, ask me how I’m doing.  If you know that I’m going through a difficult time or I’m very excited about something, ask me how that thing is going.  But at the very least, say hello. 
• If I work for you or with you very often, set up some recurring time with me just to talk with no set agenda.  The goal is simply to make sure that there is an opportunity for us to hear and be heard.

This isn’t the formula for everyone, and my actual list is significantly longer.  The point is, that this is a far cry from treating everyone nicely all the time.  And it now informs how I treat others in a much more impactful way.  How do you want to be treated at work, and how will that change and inform the way you treat others.