I was coaching a very successful client this week and she brought up an interesting topic. She said, “If my department is doing so well at work, why is everyone all up in my business and criticizing my people, process, and plan?  My team is number one in the country, but people seem angry instead of happy.  I’m even more under the microscope than ever.”   The question led to a very interesting discussion about ‘The Burden of Success’… and award-winning tomato sauce.

Secret Sauce

Success can be like having a recipe for secret sauce.  At first, people taste it and love it (keep up the good work).  However, when it’s a contest and being the best matters, the other contestants can get hostile fast.

It sucks to get recognized for doing an awesome job, and then suddenly your peers and/or boss want to pick you apart.  Large scale success can reveal that you impact people you never even knew existed. It’s sad that people’s egos can turn a victory into a stress fest, but you can’t control what other people think.  What you can control is your response.

You Are Awesome, Respond Accordingly

Whether you respond directly or in veiled terms about secret sauce (works pretty well actually), respond with confidence.  Remember, you’ve already done the hard part by figuring out how to be successful.  Here are some tips:

Don’t let the negativity make you second guess yourself.

• Reality: Realize they aren’t questioning you because you did something wrong (you’ve already proven you were right.)  They’re questioning you because they can’t figure out how you pulled it off and most people are secretly annoyed by the success of others… especially when they aren’t feeling successful themselves!
• Secret Sauce version: “Wow, sorry my sauce made you feel bad about your sauce.  I was just trying to make awesome sauce.  Nothing personal.  [Big smile] You want some?”

Don’t let them judge your methods, only your results.

• Reality: An employer wants its employees to be successful and provides a basic way of doing things.  Your expertise is the reason they hired you so screw the basics.  Nice work strategically repurposing some roles and processes to triple your results using the same resources everyone else had.  Your way is better.  #BusinessBadAss
• Secret Sauce version: “You love the sauce right?  Don’t judge me for swapping out some of those basic onions for extra garlic and shallots.  It cost the same as everyone else’s, no one died, and no laws were broken.  Back up off my recipe and enjoy the sauce!”

It’s not circumstances or an unfair advantage, it’s you!

• Reality: A common tactic of the bruised egos of the world is to chalk up your success to circumstance.  “You’re not great, you just have a smaller territory, fewer obstacles, more staff…” blah, blah, blah, pile of excuses topped with mopey woe-is-me bullshit.  F that noise!  Companies are not known for just passing out extra resources.  The job of the finance department is to ensure you have the absolute bare minimum to succeed (they call that controlling costs).  Staffing models and 100 other controls ensure that everyone is on a pretty even playing field.
• Secret Sauce Version: “I could come over to your house and make the sauce in your kitchen if you want.  I promise it will taste just as amazing [insert confident devilish wink].

Haters are going to hate… don’t let them cheapen your moment. That’s their stuff they need to deal with and has nothing to do with you.

• Reality: Mentally live in that moment of glory where your victory became apparent, and use that energy to respond to any negativity.  It’s not your job to make everyone feel better about the fact that they didn’t think of your idea first. If they’re smart, they’ll chill and try to learn from you. If not, they can be miserable as long as they choose.
• Secret Sauce version: “Damn that sauce is good.  Guess I’m going to have to enjoy it all by myself if everyone’s going to get all hateful and jealous.” [insert playful eye roll before smiling and continuing to make amazing sauce]

The Reality

People are sensitive and under a lot of pressure to perform at work.  The more they care about being successful, the more it hurts when someone else achieves the success they were hoping for.  It doesn’t make it ok, but it is normal and even predictable.

Ultimately, bosses, peers and any other unintentionally bruised egos may get around to celebrating your success. They may even ask for a glimpse at your secret sauce recipe.  Until then, don’t take it personally and don’t let it take away from enjoying the fruits of your labor.  Success doesn’t happen on its own and certainly not every day.  Go celebrate!  You’ve earned it!

Got a story about your own secret sauce? Tell us about it in the comments below!