“If you were a tree what would you be?” This question has been lurking around interviews for years and while largely a myth, some interviewers actually feel the need to throw it in to see if you can think on your feet. It comes in a large number of different varieties now too. “If you were a [bird, dog, fish, animal, flower, etc.] what would you be?” My all time favorite version of this horrible question is, “If you were a cake, what flavor would you be?”
If you’re not careful, you might accidentally tell them you’re a ‘moist and delicious spice cake.’ This would be followed promptly by a moderate panic attack as you realize you now have to explain why you are so spicy to your potential new boss. They may not be entirely listening as you frantically explain that you were nervous and honestly just like spice cake… due to their urgently reviewing your resume in more detail for perhaps a prior career in baking… or porn. So why would an interviewer even ask a perilous question like this?
It might surprise you to know that many interviewers don’t have an actual reason behind some of the more creative questions they ask. They may just be curious what you might say or even just trying to fill the time because they don’t know what to ask. Many hiring managers are working with less than 5 hours of interview training in their entire career, combined with whatever their personal experience has shown them works well (or is at least entertaining). They were most likely first promoted into management based on how well they previously performed the tasks their staff will be performing, not actual management skillsets like interviewing. (Susie was the best call center rep we had, so we promoted her to manage all the call center reps when the former manager moved on.) The point is: please don’t go in expecting all the questions to make sense. They often do not. (Apologies dear reader if you are one of the rare few that is actually highly trained. You are the exception rather than the norm. Congrats!)
If you are “fortunate” enough to get a “fun” question like this, here are some key ways to answer strategically:
1) Be Original
There are a vast number of misguided souls online that actually offer lists of trees and their supposed career skills they recommend you memorize and regurgitate. (Yes, I’m rolling my eyes in disgust when I say that.) If I’m your interviewer and I’m asking this question regularly, I’ve probably heard them all before and there’s an 87% chance you are going to say you’re an oak tree because you’re strong and/or reliable. Please, if you’re going to memorize a tree answer choose something new and innovative. For the sanity of all interviewers who haven’t already been completely lobotomized by hearing the same thing over and over every single time, PLEASE… don’t say an oak tree. Amusing your interviewer with an unexpected answer is a great start to acing this question regardless of content.
2) Be Useful
To add strength to your original answer, make sure it also describes a reason you should be hired. If you need inspiration, google ‘toughest trees in the world’ and see what you get. Better yet, try most useful trees. Then have some fun with whatever sparks your interest:
“I would be a coconut palm. I bend with the wind, can survive a hurricane, and am very versatile. You can make a piña colada out of me at happy hour, but you can also count on me for survival if you’re stranded on a desert island. The bottom line is: I will get you through the storm and ensure we survive every challenge so we can all grab a piña colada together when we’re the top team in the company!” Follow this with a riveting example of how you’ve used your versatility and flexibility for a successful outcome in the past.
3) Be Amusing (While Still Being Useful)
“Have you seen that movie Avatar? I would be that giant tree that all the blue people lived in. While I do not actually have an entire race of blue people living inside me, I am both full of surprises and extremely capable of supporting a large team for years to come.”
Note: Humor without a purpose is only helpful if you are interviewing to be a comedian. Don’t forget to tie it in to something your future employer cares about.
4) Work backward from your strengths
A better strategy than wasting weeks on this fundamentally misguided question is to spend time focusing on what you want your interviewer to know about you. This question is a golden opportunity for you to lay your most impressive traits on the table and ensure they don’t get missed. If you’re an amazing salesperson: “I’d be a Himalayan ink tree. It’s like a maple tree except I produce buckets of ink instead of pancake syrup for the huge number of clients I signed in my previous roles.” Then immediately segue into your sales technique and past performance numbers. Yes I totally made up that tree! Yes it’s ok to use a fake tree!! Yes I said ‘Himalayan’ just to make it more interesting!!!
If your interviewer looks at you sideways and acts like you’ve personally wronged him/her, you can always laugh it off like you were kidding and tell them [cringe] you’re like an oak tree… as strong and reliable as they come. (Note: If that happens and you’re interviewing with your potential future boss, please remember that you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. I’ll leave it at that.)
If you totally black out in your interview and the answer that you carefully crafted for weeks (like Michelangelo chiseling David from the marble) vanishes from your consciousness, just describe the tree you would be without actually naming something specific. Honestly, how many trees can anyone name that they also know at least one useful quality about them that differentiates them from other trees? (Aren’t all trees relatively strong?) For the love of all that is holy, please don’t say an oak tree.
The strategy of focusing on strengths and working backward is your best move because you can’t know in advance what particular brand of insanity you’ll get in the interview. What if you spent two weeks crafting a brilliantly poetic, tear-jerking justification of your likeness to the rare Blue Ghost Japanese Maple Bonsai, and they ask you what type of insect you would be instead? SHHHIIIIIIIIITTTTT! Pick your most impressive characteristics and be prepared to tie it out to a few scenarios.
Remember, interviews can be hopelessly boring for the person asking the questions so make your interviewer thankful you walked through their door. Connect with them and make them smile if possible! This question (and all its ugly cousins) is a little crazy and not terribly useful at first glance, but you can absolutely turn it into an opportunity with a little creativity. Now that you understand it from the view of an insider, you can use it as a transition into your strengths and an opportunity to show your interviewer how much you have to offer. You can absolutely tell them what kind of tree you would be and make them eager to hear more!
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